Looking to get “bombed” without the nuclear effects? John F. Kennedy invented it, and Urban Mercenaries is perfecting it (as the company put it).

Open up The Football Briefcase, and instead of launch codes, you’ll find everything you need to get the party started. Contents include a 17″ Aluminum Briefcase, 1 pair of handcuffs with 2 keys, engraved plaque, personalized with 2 lines of text, 375 ml Patron Tequila, 375 ml Grey Goose Vodka, 10 Advil tablets, 24 Tums Extra Strength chewable tablets, (4) 2 oz Red Bull energy shots, .37 oz tin of Altoids, 0.5 oz of Bausch & Lomb eye drops, 1 wine bottle opener, 1 deck of cards, 5 dice, 350 ml Martini shaker, and 4 shot glasses.

Hell Yeah!

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