I’m filing this under “W” for “Why the hell would you think this is a good idea?” In today’s nerve-racking travel climate, you need to keep yourself busy. You could watch footage of the 9/11 disaster on your iPod before the plane takes off, or you could amuse the bag inspection staff with the Suspicious Suitcase Stickers.

The stickers, designed to resemble a suitcase full of money, cocaine, a kidnapped female or sex toys, will make sure you and the head of security at Newark Airport enjoy a nice, private rendezvous in a windowless room three floors below baggage claim. Let’s just hope he buys you dinner first.

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Suspicious Suitcase Stickers
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