If anything ever had the right to claim itself a macho boy-toy, the Critter Gitter does. Resembling a pontoon mounted on monster-truck wheels, the 13,000lb, 30ft-long Critter Gitter is one serious-ass machine. Gander at the specs, though, and you then realize that this is far more than just a camouflage-laden people carrier on steroids. Standard equipment:

  • An Earth-crushing 8.2L V8 custom-built Ford big-block, a military-grade C-6 transmission, and massive 64” tires riding on 2.5 ton axles.
  • A Bazooka sound system that includes four giant outdoor speakers, a CD player and iPod connection.
  • Leather seats, all with individual gun and cup holders, with removable rear seats for extra cargo-totin’ capabilities in the rear.
  • A livestock feed system that includes a lower water tank with pressurized connections and upper and lower feeder tanks with electronic motor assemblies (for corn, milo, etc.)—all manipulative via dash-mounted controls.
  • A hydraulically-operated rear ladder and steps, sliding ramp and winch for hauling large game and seats up into the beast, and sophisticated suspension-mounted airbag system (also of which can be controlled via the flick of a switch on the dash).

Eat your heart out, Hunter Thompson.

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Critter Gitter
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