Are you on a quest—in anticipation of, say, the “coming” apocalypse or a zombie invasion—to secure everything possible in order to ensure yours and your family’s survival? Of course you are, so read on brave warrior.

The ‘Tactical Sammich’ (yeah, the moniker is a bit too redneck-ish for us, too), in addition to gas masks and machine guns, is apparently one of the main survival supplies should impending doom loom near. Pepperoni and honey BBQ-beef constitute the choices in flavors and the little snacks reportedly boast up to a two-year shelf life (given sub-80 degree storage).

In addition:

  • Each Tactical Sammich has fewer than 300 calories—because apparently, one of your main priorities during an apocalypse should be eating calorie-smart.
  • The little Sammiches, looking like short, bloated Hot Pockets and coming in small 8″ x 6″ boxes, are also (as the makers claim) very tasty to the average survivalist.

So, EAT UP boys…eat up ‘fore them space creatures come for ya!